Location: Under the 4th Street Viaduct, beside a raccoon council fire
Brothers, Sisters, and Itinerant Spirits—
Today I awoke with ash on my face and a song in my bones, one of those old Depression-era tunes only raccoons remember the words to. It was a sign. So I stoked up the trash fire with old earnings reports and quarter-spilled moonshine, entered the trance of the Dancing Flame, and reached for my sacred can of Bush’s Original—the one with the dent that looks like Alan Greenspan’s forehead.
I peered into that aluminum abyss and saw the truths of capital writ in bean. Here’s what the cosmos spilled on my bindle blanket for the week ahead:
🔮 The Markets This Week – May 5 to May 9, 2025 🔮
🪙 Stock Market (S&P 500)
The beans formed a bull’s horn… then it cracked. This tells me we’re starting the week with bullish optimism—probably a bump from strong tech earnings and renewed AI sector hype—but by midweek, inflation spooks or a hawkish Fed whisper will send traders diving like pigeons on day-old bread.
Prediction:
- Monday–Tuesday: Modest gains
- Wednesday: Choppy waters, possible dip
- Thursday–Friday: Stabilization, minor losses overall
🔋 Energy Sector
The beans were oily and slick. I saw a flaming gas pump in the flickering firelight. Geopolitical hiccups and summer driving season coming into view push oil prices higher.
Prediction: Energy stocks upward drift, particularly oil & gas producers.
💻 Tech Stocks
A shiny bean floated—hovered, even—above the rest, glowing like an NVIDIA chip kissed by the Silicon Gods. AI continues to drive speculative excitement, but froth is building.
Prediction: Big AI names surge early, but watch for a Thursday correction.
🏦 Interest Rates & Bonds
The can gurgled and hissed when I dropped in a Treasury yield chart I drew in charcoal. Spirits are unsettled. There’s noise about persistent wage inflation, and the Fed might signal a delay in rate cuts.
Prediction: Bond yields rise slightly, bond prices fall, mortgage rates nudge upward.
🛒 Consumer Sector
I tossed in a receipt from a dumpster Target run. It burst into flames too easily. Folks are tightening belts. Earnings from retailers this week might show signs of consumer fatigue.
Prediction: Retail stocks underperform, especially discretionary.
🗓️ Zodiac Bean-Scopes (A Market Flavored Edition)
- Taurus (Apr 20–May 20) – The bean you plant today blooms into dividend stocks tomorrow. Invest conservatively.
- Leo (Jul 23–Aug 22) – You crave the spotlight. Day trading meme stocks? Tread carefully, flamboyant feline.
- Scorpio (Oct 23–Nov 21) – You smell blood. Earnings missteps = shorting opportunities. Your fangs are sharp.
- Aquarius (Jan 20–Feb 18) – You’ve been dreaming of altcoins again. Now is not the time. The can hissed when I said Ethereum.
As always, I end with a riddle from the flames:
“What climbs with tech but dies with debt,
yet lives again if you just forget?”
(Answer: Speculative optimism.)
I’ll be back tomorrow with a letter from the rails, and perhaps a vision of raccoon destiny. Until then, invest like a shadow and spend like a breeze.
—Hobo Harry, Mystic of the Ashes 🔥🥫🌌
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