Divined through twelve sacred bean cans and one half-eaten convenience store burrito of prophetic consequence.
♈ Aries (March 21 – April 19)
The chili bean can belched steam, Aries. Your fire’s burnin’ hot today — don’t let it scorch those who cross your path. Channel that spark into creatin’, not destroyin’. Build a raft, fix a wheel, compose a kazoo opera. Just avoid duels with raccoons. You’ll lose. Trust me.
♉ Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
The pinto can lay still, solid as a boxcar axle. Taurus, dig in. Hold your ground. A friend may ask for more than you’re comfortable givin’. Set your limits, but do it with grace and a thermos of coffee. You’re not selfish — you’re seasoned. Let the world turn while you roast your marshmallow just right.
♊ Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Two cans clanked in the wind — the infamous Gemini twins. You’re feelin’ extra many-faced today, like a hobo chameleon at a swap meet. Use your words wisely, not wildly. That tall tale you tell might become realer than you thought. Someone’s listenin’ — and they’ve got a notebook and a badge.
♋ Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
The navy bean can echoed like a seashell. You’re feelin’ all tender under that hard shell. Nostalgia might hit like a harmonica tune floatin’ across an empty lot. Don’t be afraid to write a letter, make a call, or toss a memory into the fire just to see how it dances. Heart’s gotta stretch sometimes.
♌ Leo (July 23 – August 22)
The garbanzo can glowed under moonlight. Leo, you’re burnin’ bright today — louder than a freight horn in a thunderstorm. That spotlight’s yours, but don’t forget: even the moon takes turns with the sun. Let someone else shine too. You’ll gain respect and an extra packet of mustard.
♍ Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
The black bean can rolled itself into the fire ring. Order crumblin’, Virgo. Things ain’t where they oughta be. Maybe someone borrowed your soap and never returned it. Maybe life’s messin’ with your routine. Breathe deep. Sort what you can, and let the dust of the world settle on the rest.
♎ Libra (September 23 – October 22)
The butter bean can spun in perfect circles. Balance is your jam, Libra, but today someone’s gonna try and tip your scales — maybe over love, maybe over a stolen corn chip. Keep your cool, weigh your words, and don’t let anyone push you off the rail you walk. Beauty and justice ain’t luxuries — they’re your compass.
♏ Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
The refried bean can growled like a restless spirit. Scorpio, you’re pulsin’ with strange energy. Secrets hover like flies on old stew. You might feel tempted to dig up old bones or throw down old grudges. But ask yourself: is it revenge, or is it release you’re after? There’s power in lettin’ go.
♐ Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
The lentil can pointed skyward. Adventure stirs, Sag. You’re restless, like a tumbleweed with a train ticket. A new town, a new idea, a new soup recipe — somethin’ unexpected comes your way. Say yes, but pack light. Not every ride needs three harmonicas and a caged possum.
♑ Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
The cannellini can stood upright on a single rock. You’re grounded, Cap — the solid rail in a world of loose cabooses. Today you earn trust with quiet work and firm decisions. You may be asked to lead a camp, negotiate bean rights, or interpret obscure trackside graffiti. Lead with wisdom, not worry.
♒ Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
The mung bean can hummed like a transistor radio. Aquarius, you’re tuned into a different frequency today — ideas zap your brain like static from the clouds. Folks might not understand you, but that’s never stopped you before. Invent somethin’. Reimagine the bindle. Build a solar-powered soup heater. Fly your flag, you odd miracle.
♓ Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
The split pea can shimmered with watery hues. Pisces, dreams are callin’ from both sides of the tracks. You may find yourself starin’ too long at a puddle, thinkin’ it’s a portal. And maybe it is. But don’t forget to eat. Magic’s real, sure — but so is hunger. Bring both a poem and a sandwich.
🪔 Prophetic Fire-Flare of the Day:
“Don’t chase every whistle you hear — some trains are just ghosts blowin’ steam.”
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