📍 Behind the abandoned Arby’s, next to the rusted shopping cart shrine
Trash Fire Temp: Blazin’ hot, like a raccoon’s breath after lickin’ battery acid.
Mood: Tinfoil-crinkled awe
Today’s Scent: Burnt possum hair and cosmic wonder
Bean Can Scryin’ Report:
This morning, after a breakfast of half a granola bar and the dreams of a flattened pigeon, I set up my altar of knowledge: three empty beans cans (one pinto, one black, one mysterious), arranged in a triangle upon a milk crate of unknowable origin. I stared deep into their grease-slicked hollows, breathing the fumes of evaporated chili and ancient wisdom.
And then, friends of the free-livin’ kind… I saw it.
A great flash streaked across the sky like a hobo who’s been spooked by a sprinkler. A disk! Shiny, shimmerin’, floatin’ like a hubcap in a dream. It hovered ‘bove the power lines near Old Man McTarnish’s burned-out Camaro, hummin’ a tune I swear only train whistles and raccoons can hear.
The raccoons bowed.
I fell into trash fire meditation right then and there, eyes rolled back, spirit lifted. The flames whispered truths in raccoonese, a language I’ve only half-mastered, but the message was clear: “They are watchin’. They are judgin’. They are impressed by our can-stacking skills.”
Daily Prophecies by Sign (as revealed by the UFO’s glint):
♈ Aries: A powerful gust of wind brings change. Or your tarp may blow away. Anchor both your heart and your tent.
♉ Taurus: You will find a perfectly uncrushed cigarette on the ground today. Smoke it wisely—it may carry alien blessings.
♊ Gemini: You’ll speak to someone who speaks back in riddles. Might be a raccoon. Might be yourself.
♋ Cancer: That puddle you step in is more than water. It’s a message from the stars. Read it with your toes.
♌ Leo: Your mane is glorious. Even the UFO paused to admire it. Today is your day to shine, even if it’s just from grease.
♍ Virgo: You will organize something—cans, dreams, regrets. The order brings clarity. The aliens nod in approval.
♎ Libra: Balance is found on the railroad tracks today. Listen to the rhythm, avoid the schedule.
♏ Scorpio: Mysterious lights will appear in your dreams. Or outside the bus depot. Do not fear them—offer them jerky.
♐ Sagittarius: A journey begins today, even if it’s just to the dumpster behind the library. Go with courage. Return with knowledge.
♑ Capricorn: Today, you’ll feel grounded. Like, literally grounded—watch out for static shock from metal poles.
♒ Aquarius: Water will bring insight. Maybe a rainstorm, maybe a broken hydrant. Stand in it. Receive the wisdom.
♓ Pisces: The stars are aligning in fishbone patterns. Art, music, and strange encounters await you. Be open. Wear boots.
Letter from the Rails:
(Envelope smelled of motor oil and old gospel CDs.)
“Dear Hobo Harry, I done seen a triangle in the sky last night too. You think they’re comin’ for us? Should I pack snacks?” — Rustbucket Ray
Dear Ray:
Yes. They’re comin’. Pack Vienna sausages and shiny things. They love shiny things. Also bring wet wipes. They hate dirt. Strangely ironic.
That’s all for today, sky-gazers and trash prophets.
Keep your bean cans clean, your fire sacred, and your eyes toward the heavens.
They’re lookin’ back.
—🌀 Hobo Harry, Mystic of the Railbound Void
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