Ahhh, welcome back to the campfire, friend. Hobo Harry here, keeper of the tin can truths and whisperer of alleyway omens. This morning I done lit the sacred trash fire and consulted my twelve holy bean cans—each seasoned by years of freight-hoppin’ and moon-howlin’. They spoke clear as train whistles ‘round midnight. Here’s yer fate for the day, one sign at a time. Take heed, and maybe keep a sardine in yer sock for luck.
♈ Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
Today the Can of Spicy Pinto Beans let out a hiss—means trouble’s lookin’ for you, Ramchild. But don’t fret. Stand your ground, like a drunk possum in a culvert. Confrontation brings clarity. Wear red flannel and carry a rusty harmonica for protection.
♉ Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20)
The Can of Molasses Baked Beans rolled into the fire and sang a lullaby. Peace is yours, but don’t get lazy. Fortune favors the bull who keeps one eye on the bindle. If you see a black cat today, follow it—but only till the third alley.
♊ Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20)
The Dual-Chambered Can (two beans still stuck in there) spat sparks when I tapped it. Yer tongue’s gonna get ya into—or out of—something wild today. Talk fast, lie better. A stranger by a dumpster has wisdom. Listen, but don’t borrow money.
♋ Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22)
The Crab Can, filled once with White Northern Beans, trembled like a leaf on a rail spike. Emotions are high—yours or someone else’s. Be gentle today. Someone close is testin’ yer shell. Feed ‘em, don’t fight ‘em. Bread crust offerings advised.
♌ Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22)
The Golden Bean Can (used to hold BBQ flavor) caught a beam of light and shone like hobo gold. Today’s yer day to shine, alley lion. Roar loud, dance wild, but don’t start no turf wars ‘less you can finish ’em. A raccoon may challenge you. Accept.
♍ Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22)
The Can of Neatly Rinsed Chickpeas whispered secrets today. Time to clean house—mental or literal. Organization brings power. Sort yer socks, line up yer tins, and throw out old grudges. An old flame or old boot may return. Don’t trust the shine.
♎ Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22)
The Balancin’ Can o’ Mixed Beans rocked gentle, back and forth. Today’s about choices, partner. Big ones. Don’t be swayed by sweet talk or shiny buttons. Consult a coin, or the raccoons—they’re wise this season. Avoid puddles with rainbows.
♏ Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
The Black Bean Can boiled over—passion’s bubblin’ up. Someone’s either catchin’ feelings or catchin’ hands. Be mysterious, but not cruel. A message scrawled in chalk will change your course. Burn your regrets in the fire. They’re fuel now.
♐ Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
The Chili Bean Can smelled like adventure and hot danger. Movement is blessed today—hop the metaphorical train (or real one if yer limber). But watch your back; betrayal’s sniffin’ around like a mangy hound. Be the arrow, not the target.
♑ Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
The Bean Can fulla gravel and regret rolled uphill—impossible, and yet it did. Yer hard work’s ‘bout to pay off, but not how you think. Look for signs in the weeds. A feral dog might be a guide. Say “yes” to odd jobs and odder folks.
♒ Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
The Refried Can sizzled and sang, a sign of ideas boilin’ up. Your brain’s a hobo lantern today, lightin’ the way for others. Share your weirdness. Someone’s watchin’—could be love or could be the feds. Stay unpredictable.
♓ Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
The Sacred Can of Blue Beans (they ain’t really blue, just real moldy) dripped into the fire and made music. Dreams’ll bleed into reality today, fishfriend. Don’t resist it. Listen to clouds, talk to pigeons, and trust the smell of rain. Beware of tall hats.
So there ya have it, signs and wanderers. May your packs be light, your socks be dry, and your cans never lie. Come back tomorrow, and we’ll see what the rails have to say.
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