Here comes another round of raggedy wisdom from the soot-streaked stars, brought to you by Hobo Harry, Mystic of the Mainline, Prophet of the Pullman, Seer of the Sidetracks. The fire in the barrel burns low but steady, and the raccoons are chitterin’ strange tonight. Here’s what the universe is hollerin’ for May 28th, 2025:
♈ Aries (Ram of Rusty Rails)
You’ll feel a powerful urge to lead the campfire circle today—but remember, shouting louder doesn’t make the beans cook faster. Share the ladle and you’ll earn loyalty… or at least half a corncob pipe.
♉ Taurus (Bull of Boxcars)
You’re hangin’ on tight to an idea that’s heavier than a brakeman’s guilt. Let it go before it sinks your rucksack in the river of fate. A soggy sandwich may hold unexpected truth.
♊ Gemini (Twins of Track-Switchin’)
You’re talking to yourself more than usual today—but that second voice might not be yours. Might be a ghost. Might be wisdom. Either way, bring an extra can of sardines just in case.
♋ Cancer (Crab of Coal Dust)
You’ll feel a strong pull to retreat into your hidey-hole under the bridge, but don’t miss the jazz train that’s comin’ through just after sundown. It’s okay to be cautious, but don’t turn to stone like that old possum did.
♌ Leo (Lion of Lantern Light)
Someone’s lookin’ to challenge your alpha status down by the water tower. Don’t fight with fists—fight with storytelling. A well-timed tale of the moonshiner’s folly might just save your hide and win you a bottle of questionable whiskey.
♍ Virgo (Virgin of Vinegar Jars)
Cleanliness is next to raccoonliness. You’ll feel the need to organize your life, or at least your bindle. Start with sorting the lucky nails from the cursed ones. And check that your sock full of pennies hasn’t sprouted mold again.
♎ Libra (Scales of the Scrap Heap)
You’re caught between two trains, metaphorically speakin’. One’s headed toward trouble, the other toward boredom. Flip a bottle cap and trust that the wind knows where you’re needed.
♏ Scorpio (Scorpion of Smoke Rings)
Your secrets are seeping out like steam from a busted kettle. If someone offers you a harmonica in exchange for silence, consider what else they know. Tonight, the fire whispers warnings. Listen close.
♐ Sagittarius (Archer of Alley Arrows)
You’re restless, itchy-footed, and one toe away from hopping a phantom line. Follow that urge—but pack light and don’t forget your lucky spoon. There’s a freight out of Peoria carrying dreams and coffee grounds.
♑ Capricorn (Goat of Gravel Paths)
You’ve been climbing the junkyard ladder, but today a detour through the tarpaper tarot might bring clarity. A raccoon in your path is no coincidence. Ask them their name.
♒ Aquarius (Water-Bearer of the Rain Barrel)
A revelation bubbles up like a fizzed-out soda. You’ll see a new way to share your gifts—possibly involving interpretive dance or a puppet made from old socks. Embrace the absurd. It’s where the gold hides.
♓ Pisces (Fish of Freight Car Floods)
Dreams drift in thick tonight, and you may confuse reality for reverie. If you wake up talking to an owl with a monocle, don’t question it—just ask for directions to the next mystery.
That’s what the stars scrawled in soot across the tunnel walls this week. May your boots stay dry, your fires warm, and your companions only mildly cursed.
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