Ahhh yes, come close now, friend… Pull up a crate, mind the rat… Let Old Harry peer into his sacred bean cans — soaked in rainwater, mystery, and a bit o’ yesterday’s stew. What secrets do the divine legumes whisper today?
♈ Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Can #1, still smoldering from a cigarette butt…
You’re itchin’ to run, ram, do. But slow your stompers, hot-foot — the alley cats are restless, and not all shortcuts get ya home. Beware the man in a suit offerin’ “opportunities.” That ain’t a gift; that’s a trap with teeth. Carry your lucky nail.
♉ Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Can #2, crusted with old chili wisdom…
Steady now, bull. You’ve been hoardin’ beans and feelin’ rich, but today’s the day to share that crusty loaf. Someone near you’s colder than you think. Generosity brings fortune — or at least better karma when the pigeons come callin’.
♊ Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Can #3, two beans stuck together like gossipin’ twins…
Your tongue’s gettin’ itchy, flappin’ like a tarp in a windstorm. Hold back, lest your words twist up like shopping cart wheels. Listen more today. The winds are carryin’ secrets — and if you hush up, one might float your way.
♋ Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Can #4, full of rain and reflection…
Oh, you soft-shelled moonchild, I see you tuckin’ your feelings into your coat like treasures. Today’s a good day to call someone “kid” and mean it. Family ain’t always blood — sometimes it’s the fella who shares his fire barrel.
♌ Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Can #5, burnished like a crown of rust…
You’re strutttin’ today, lion, and good on ya. But mind your pride — a real king don’t need to roar to be heard. Something shiny is comin’ your way — might be a coin, might be a compliment. Either way, don’t waste it.
♍ Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Can #6, lined up perfectly with the others…
You been organizin’ socks in your bindle again, haven’t ya? That tidy mind’s a gift — today you’ll spot somethin’ everyone else missed. Use that noggin. Fix somethin’. Might just be the universe’s way of thankin’ you with a warm sandwich.
♎ Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Can #7, balanced on a fencepost, neither here nor there…
You’re seein’ both sides too much, pal. Pick a side or the wind’ll knock you off the fence anyway. Today’s not about fairness — it’s about feel. Trust your gut, not just the scales. And maybe stop askin’ every pigeon their opinion.
♏ Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Can #8, scorched black but glowin’ inside…
Somethin’s stirrin’, deep and dark. Someone might test you today — could be a friend, could be the devil in a necktie. Don’t sting too fast. Smile with your teeth and keep your secrets warm under your coat. Power’s comin’. You’ll know what to do.
♐ Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Can #9, pointin’ like an arrow at the highway…
The road calls, wanderer. Could be a walk, could be a mind journey. But you’re not meant to sit still today. Find somethin’ new — a book, a song, a mystery meat in a tin. Even the wind’s rootin’ for ya. Go chase it.
♑ Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Can #10, dented but standin’ proud…
You’ve been climbin’ your ladder made o’ shopping carts and stubborn grit. Today, someone might try to yank it out from under you. Don’t fret. You built it yourself — you can rebuild it stronger. Your work’ll pay off. Soon, even the rats will respect ya.
♒ Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Can #11, hummin’ like it caught radio waves…
The cosmos are buzzin’ through your bean can today — new ideas, weird vibes, wild dreams. Follow ‘em. Maybe you invent a better kind of hobo harmonica. Maybe you solve love. Who knows? You’re electric. Just don’t forget to ground yourself now and then.
♓ Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Can #12, floatin’ in a puddle like a dream…
You’ve been driftin’, dreamin’ of better days. That’s fine, fish — but don’t let your boots rot while you wait. Today’s a good day to make somethin’. A poem, a stew, a new name for yourself. The stars say feel deep, but do somethin’.
Old Harry’s seen a lot in these cans, friend… but remember — the future’s like an old dog: unpredictable, but usually just wants a bit o’ kindness and maybe a meatball.
Which sign’s yours? I’ll toss in a lucky charm or hobo proverb just for you.
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