Written under a half-chewed moon and the vague smell of chili dogs.
â Aries
A train will whistle three times. Thatâs not a signalâitâs a dare. Today youâll feel pulled toward forbidden snacks or unmarked doors. Follow neither without a raccoon chaperone.
â Taurus
Youâll feel like a trash fireâs warm embrace today. Stable, glowing, slightly dangerous. Let folks gather around your vibe, but donât let anyone roast marshmallows off your soul.
â Gemini
Someone will hand you a pamphlet titled âThe Truth About Spoons.â Take it. The truth may be disturbing, but your inner twins love a good cutlery scandal.
â Cancer
Today you might cry during a commercial about butter. Thatâs okay. Emotions are just the soup sloshing in your inner thermos. Sip slowly.
â Leo
The spotlight finds youâeven under a bridge. Strut your stuff, roar your truth, and maybe audition for that traveling raccoon circus. You will be noticed.
â Virgo
Order will flee you like a scared possum. Embrace the chaos: mismatched socks, forgotten keys, cryptic subway poetry. The path is in the mess.
â Libra
Balance is overrated today. Tip over. Wobble. Let your decisions be guided by whichever foot has fewer blisters. The worldâs already spinningâlean into it.
â Scorpio
Secrets follow you like carrier pigeons with grudges. Today, one will arrive wearing a tiny vest. Decode its message and destroy it immediately.
â Sagittarius
Youâll be compelled to run toward something. A dream, a taco truck, or a well-dressed goose. Go. Today favors the bold and lightly confused.
â Capricorn
Youâll question everythingâyour path, your soup recipe, the nature of pants. Good. Mystery is the meat in the stew of wisdom. Donât forget to stir.
â Aquarius
A song will loop in your head all day. Thatâs not an accident. The cosmos put it there. Try humming it in front of strangers and watch doors unlockâsome literal, some metaphorical.
â Pisces
Dreams take on strange flavorsâlike peanut butter and prophecy. Keep a notebook near your pillow. Or a sock. Or a particularly receptive cabbage. Something wants to be remembered.
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